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It would start with an innocent question, “How’s it going with the girls? “Keep them guessing,” he would advise, and “play the field.” It was never vulgar or insulting, just paternalistic, old-world thinking that didn’t align with how I hoped my sons would view relationships.My kids respectfully submitted to these discussions, and often found them amusing in their stereotypical depictions of heterosexual relationships. They reinforced a bias that began to feel like an agenda.We lived in Park Slope, which has a thriving LGBT community.My sons, Luca and Angelo, grew up in this strong, creative and accepting place.From the start, Avie was enthusiastic about getting to know my two sons.At 13, Luca was figuring out how to move from boy to man.
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I wanted him to connect sex with love and be genuinely interested in both, maybe too much to expect from a 13-year-old boy.
One day, I opened my computer to find it on a page that provided answers to questions about sex.
After graduation, he started a business and a family, raising two daughters. By the end of the evening, we had arranged to see each other again. Although I imagined that there would be some challenges, I hoped they would be surmountable.
When he paused, I took a breath as I prepared to share my story, not knowing how he would react. I had them with a woman I was with for 13 years.” I waited. As far as we have come in integrating gay couples and families into our culture, the straight world is full of hidden biases.
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